So I’m facing a personal crisis – ok well that’s a little overstated, but you get the idea. While I love my children and am grateful that I have been able to be home with them since birth, after 8 years, I’m starting to feel antsy and unfulfilled.
I know, I know…. All those working moms out there are wondering what the hell is the matter with me. Then there are the stay at home moms who get complete satisfaction from cooking, cleaning, soap operas, Mary Kay type multi level marketing schemes and carting kids around all day, every day. They scoff at those women who choose to go to work (although, in most cases that’s not always a choice). How could they possibly be good mothers if they devote their life to a career just so they can afford that luxury SUV and 3000 sq ft house???
On the other hand, I can’t tell you how many men I have had comment on the fact that staying at home is probably like going to Disneyland everyday. No bosses, no deadlines, nothin… I must be living the life!!! Let me tell you, fighting with a daughter that wants to wear spaghetti strap shirts to school as snow is falling outside, or the constant “MOM!!! He hit me!!!” followed by a few smacks, thuds and then crying in the background is definitely no picnic. Oh yeah, and what about when your kid takes a nap (or so you thought) only to wake up and find poop smeared everywhere. I bet you never have to clean up poop at work. A stay at home mom can’t call in sick, no matter how much of her guts she puked up the night before, and 5pm is not even close to the end of the day. So yes, work sucks but staying home is NOT Disneyland.
So, I guess I’m looking for a change of pace. The extra money is nice, but not completely necessary. Its the fact that I worked my butt off in college and now I want to put it to use. But can I handle 40 hours a week plus devote time to cooking, cleaning, homework, laundry, kids, a husband, and everything else that I normally take care of? On top of that, I know my decision to go back to work will be judged. Should I just play the part of the happy fulfilled mother so that my kids will grow up in a traditional household or should I put some effort into satisfying some of my own needs, knowing that I will have to work extra hard to keep it all together????
Cool blog baby!
ReplyDeleteHi Laura- I didn't know you had your own blog! Let's see, I wanted to comment on this post though. I have only been a "stay at home" mom for 3 years now, to only 1 kid (until recently of course) so while I can somewhat relate to you, I cannot fully. But I think this is a dilemma that many, many moms face and when it comes doen to it, you just need to make the decision that you think is best, for your own mental sanity and for your kids. If you can find some sort of balance, then that's great. I know moms who say that getting out for a little bit, working, and being around other adults and doing something productive other than being with their children actually makes them better parents. On the other hand if you will just feel guilty the whole time, then maybe it's not worth it. I think being judged is inevitable no matter what choice you make. Sometimes I feel judged for staying at home, like I am lazy or I should be doing something else too, on the side. But I know that for me, right now, this is where I want to be and it is the best thing I can do for my kids. Well, sorry this is so long. I hope you can figure something out!
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